Sitting down here and typing this, is perhaps the most "therapeutic" way to heal the open wound. It has been two weeks, and I am getting better each day. I have never thought that I need to end this rlsp. I was very cautious, but the twist caught me by surprise. We were in love, but being in love, and suitable for marriage are two different matters.
How could someone love "things" more than rlsps? It was really a joke God played on me. Sometimes, I really thought so. The words are still fresh in my mind, those hurtful words.
I really thought that this rlsp will be the one and only one I need to venture ever. Little did I know, that this could kill a rlsp. Sometimes I blame myself for not having that heart to love someone's addiction, sometimes I blame myself for not noticing these "signs" early, and sometimes I just hate everything..
The best way now, is to perhaps keep myself and him in prayers. I really prayed that he will one day recover. The road to recovery is long and mysterious, I am not sure what will happen. But prayers are the best for now.
Dear Lord,
It has been the most difficult time in my life. I knew that once I turned around, I could no longer turn back the hands of time. Thank you for letting me meet him. There were happy moments as well as sad moments. There were many bitter sweet moments. I got to know myself more through this rlsp, and understood my not-so-nice side.
Lord, I prayed for him. I prayed that you will heal him in your time. Free him from bondages and all these addictions. Pray that one day he will recover, and he will be ready to meet a better half.
Lord, I too pray for myself. Pray that the wound will slowly close, and I will move forward from this chapter in my life. Pray that I will be ready in your time, to meet the one whom You have chosen for me. Pray that I will improve, and be a better one.
Amen.
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