Excited and Scared

Blogged on: SEPTEMBER 28, 2011

“看哪、我要作一件新事、

如今要发现、你们岂不知道么．

我必在旷野开道路、在沙漠开江河。"

-以赛亚书43:19

One year has passed, and many things have changed.

1) I am no long teaching in co-ed, but a boys school. 

Actually I prayed and asked Lord to bring me to a new environment. And yet, I was traumatized here. No words can described how much stress I am going through. Here, it’s another world beyond description. I often joked, “now I know why God created both man and woman.” Many times I have to explain to parents over the phone what is happening in class, and I prayed that they will NOT complain to my superior. I am very scared of bad records. =/ Those are irreversible. Many times i teared, isnt this what I’ve prayed for? A new teaching environment, then why am I in such pain? And I read this online “Changes causes friction, so don’t complain”.Yet, now I think of it, yes I have learnt alot, more than I could ever imagine. Just last Thursday, a parent wrote an email to the VP, and thank me for doing so much for the child. I was very very touched. 雨后真的会有彩虹！

2) I have partially retired from backpacking

Not that I want to, but I was forced to. My health is not getting better. And I am overwhelmed with work. But this dream is still living in me. I will want to go for this dream. Freedom runs in my blood. And I will not chuck it aside. =)

3) Degree.

You know what? I am a Diploma collector. Lol.. Having a few Diploma on my hands makes me laugh at times. I wanted to pursue a Degree but reality is too harsh. I thought of just anyhow get one, but this is not right. So, I will continue to wait for the appropriate moment to come. And fulfill this part of my dream.

4) Guess what? I am able to afford a flat!!! 

Yes! I just got to know this last Sat when I went to see an HDB officer to renew my rental contract!
Having worked for 10 years. Yes 10 years! I am able to afford a flat now. People often thinks that I am a 富家女，cannot do anything. I have no idea why. haha! But actually I am very very poor, and have worked many kinds of odd jobs. Now, I am able to afford a flat. =) I am both excited and scared, because I have no idea what to look out for. Suddenly, I am another step closer to my dream. All these seems surreal.

5) 唯有在耶和华里才能满足

A few weeks ago, I was very depress about many things. I dont know why. And I was crying in front of a sister. She reminded me, nothing can satisfy my hunger for freedom and money. Even if I have everything in the world, nothing can satisfy me accept Lord our God. I pray that as I get closer to each of my dream, I will stay close to Jesus.

少年人哪、你在幼年时当快乐．在幼年的日子、使你的心欢畅、
行你心所愿行的、看你眼所爱看的、却要知道、为这一切的事、　神必审问你。
- 传道书 11-9